One thing that irritates me is people talking behind my back.
I want to be part of the conversation because I know more about me than they do. Or at least I think I do.
While in the mall recently, I passed two people, and I heard one say, “Doesn’t he look stupid?”
I’ve found that when I hear something, I usually don’t hear the whole story. If I don’t hear the whole story, I’m going to get it wrong, and if I react, I certainly will look stupid.
Why do I care if someone I don’t know thinks I look stupid?
When wife Martha, the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, says I look stupid, that’s a completely different story. I need to get the information she has so I can change whatever I need to change so I don’t look stupid in her eyes.
Really, her opinion is the only one that really matters.
How often have I made a mistake judging someone by their outward appearance? I’ve gotten into a lot of trouble through the years doing that. I don’t need to judge people.
Whatever people are wearing and how they look is none of my business whatsoever. I try to keep my thoughts to myself.
As a daily discipline, I strive not to judge people before I really get to know them. After getting to know some people, you find out they’re not really what they first appear to be. They’re not as stupid as they look nor as smart as they look.
While in the mall, I passed several people with tattoos all over their body. Tattoos, ear piercings, nose piercings, and even one had a tongue piercing. I have no idea what these things are called or why anybody would want them.
Never in the morning have I gotten up, gone to my bathroom, looked in the mirror and said, “You need to get some tattoos today.” I’m not even sure my mirror would allow me to do that.
I work at not judging people. Sometimes, it’s hard, but I work at it all the more. If somebody wants to look the way they look, who am I to tell them it’s wrong?
Judging somebody by his or her appearance really challenges decency. I’ve counseled many people over the years and learned one thing: most of them do not want to hear the truth. They want me to tell them what they want to hear.
That’s the kind of world we live in. Nobody wants to hear or tell the truth, and everyone is happy with that. Well, I’m not.
So, if you think I look stupid, don’t say it out loud; just whisper it, and let’s keep it between the two of us. Then, I won’t tell people what I think about you.
Thinking about this I was reminded what Jesus said in John.
“Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.”
— John 7: 24
Jesus didn’t judge by appearance. It’s not how we look, but how we act that defines us.
So, instead of concentrating on my outside, I need to focus on my inside, that’ my relationship with Christ. That’s how God will judge everyone.
Dr. Snyder is a former pastor who lives with the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, wife Martha, in Ocala, Fla. His email is [email protected].
