The common wisdom is that, no matter how big and tough a man you are, when a little girl asks you to sit at her tea party you sit with the stuffed animals, drink the pretend tea and say “please” and “thank you”.
I’m not saying I have never drank pretend tea from a plastic cup with my pinky in the air (I have), but thankfully my two daughters never went in for tea parties in a big way.
My girls have big imaginations and an interest in things not always traditionally “girlish”. This is something I have encouraged, because I want them to imagine more for themselves in their adult lives than just setting the table and clearing the dishes afterward.
I have always felt that what children can imagine depends a lot on what we help them imagine. Which is why I like to get right down on the floor and play with my kids and their toys.
Aside from the fact that it gives a grown man the size and hairiness of a small bear the excuse to play with toys and talk in silly voices again, it lets me slip in some lessons on the sly.
To anyone listening it probably seems like the usual playing with your kids. The longer they listen though, the adventures often take unusual turns and hopefully, contain a few hidden lessons.
Consider the time I was playing with my daughters and the sharp-tooths (anyone familiar with The Land Before Time movies knows what a sharp-tooth is) took over the Valley That Time Forgot (the spot on the floor where the dinosaur toys were gathered). All of the plant-eating dinosaurs were forced to flee their homes or be eaten. Oh no!
My daughters helped the peaceful dinosaurs make a long dangerous journey to Pride Rock (we also had some Lion King toys laying around, you see). On arriving, the dinos asked if they could live there instead. Mufasa called the jungle council together, and the assorted plastic giraffes, elephants, gorillas and so on debated the issue.
“If they live here, they’ll eat all the grass and there won’t be enough for us!” cried one herbivore.
“But if they do stay, some of us can eat them!” replied a carnivore.
“Either way, they will upset our ecosystem! Dinosaurs don’t belong here,” said Prof. Gorilla (yes, the gorilla has a PhD).
As Mufasa saw it, there were only three options: let the dinosaurs live with them, go back and help the good dinosaurs overthrow the sharp-tooths, or train and equip the good dinosaurs to retake the valley but stay out of the conflict themselves.
“What do you think they should do?” I asked my girls. It was fun watching the two of them discuss the different ideas and put forward plans of their own.
I won’t bother to record their preferred solution to the problem (or mine). Our own diplomats and historians can rarely agree on the best course of action in such situations, so I don’t expect my daughters and I to unriddle it over the course of an afternoon.
My point is that playing let’s pretend, especially with little girls, doesn’t have to be all tea-parties and princesses.
Give them big ideas to wrestle with and you’ll see how strong they are.
•Greg O’Driscoll is a staff writer for The Blackshear Times.
