First, there was David vs. Goliath. Then, the ragtag American colonists vs. the British Red Coats. Then, the outnumbered U.S. forces vs. the Japanese at Guadalcanal.
Then, the brainy brothers of Lambda Lambda Lambda vs. the jocks & jerks of Alpha Beta in the 1984 romantic thriller, “Revenge of the Nerds.”
Add another chapter to the annals of underdogs overcoming insurmountable odds to achieve glorious victory – Len Robbins vs. the Mortgage Company.
Like those storied battles, this is a tale of a banking conglomerate too big to fail failing against a little opponent too small to succeed.
But succeed he did – sort of.
The other day, I was in a conversation when the topic of mortgage payments came up. I mentioned that we make bi-monthly (every other week) mortgage payments.
“My mortgage company won’t allow me to make bi-monthly payments,” my friend said.
I then recounted this tale. A number of years ago, when we purchased our current home, we decided to go the bi-monthly route because it fits our family’s pay periods, and cuts years off your mortgage. The original mortgage company that allowed this practice then sold our loan to another mortgage company – one of these giant banking cartels.
I called them immediately to set up our bi-monthly payments.
“No, sir, that’s impossible. We don’t offer that service,” was the initial response I heard, after, of course, 30 minutes of pressing buttons trying to speak to an actual human being.
I pressed on. “Okay, how about I just send you two payments a month and y’all sort it out?,” I countered.
“No, sir,” said the pleasant, but stern, voice on the other end of the phone, and world. “We don’t offer that service. You’ll have to pay monthly.”
I asked why they didn’t allow bi-monthly payments. She cited company policy. I asked what would happen if I paid twice a month, against their wishes.
She said a bunch of words that made no sense to me, again stressing that the practice of making two mortgage payments a month is prohibited.
At this point, it seemed as though I had reached a dead end. I remembered the immortal words of Jimmy Valvano: “Being able to read is not a requirement to attend N.C. State, Chris Washburn.”
No, that’s not the one. The other famous quote: “Don’t give up. Don’t ever give up.”
I didn’t. “Well, then, I’d like to talk to your supervisor and lodge an official complaint that you don’t offer this service to your customers,” I said, channeling my inner Karen.
A long pause. “Sir, could you hold while I connect you?”
What’s another 10 minutes, I reasoned. I had already been on the phone for nearly an hour.
Soon, I was talking to someone with the company’s “equity accelerator” program. According to him, the company did allow multiple mortgage payments a month.
Within a couple of minutes, I was enrolled in the program and scheduled to make my mortgage payments every other week – just as I sought.
It wasn’t “impossible” after all. The lesson here is this: Anything is possible if you are annoyingly persistent enough.
Replace my mortgage company with whatever your latest obstacle and give it a try.
Even a multinational megacorporation with an evil automated phone system can be conquered.
Of course, I still have to pay them – and will for some time. But, on my terms. There’s no such thing as a small victory.
• Len Robbins is the editor of The Clinch County News. He can be reached at lrobbins@clinchcounty news
