I tend not to worry.
My wife does, occasionally. I usually counter her concerns by saying, “What are the odds of… (insert potentially dangerous activity)?” Then, I follow by making up the odds.
“Oh, let the kids play with firew orks, honey. What are the odds they’ll get hurt?”
Actually, it’s one in 19,556, which is less dangerous than playing with a chainsaw (one in 4,464) but more dangerous than swimming with alligators (one in 53,000 chance of being bit).
By the way, I was way, way off with my figures on all three of the above. The odds I quoted were: Getting injured by playing with fireworks: one in a million; odds of getting hurt by playing with a chainsaw: None whatsoever; and odds of getting bit by an alligator: one in a gazillion.
So, in the interests of utilizing accurate odds for these instances, I did some research and found the actual chances for catastrophe/ accident, for usage by myself, and you, the curious reader, in our everyday reckoning. So, the chance of you:
• Being struck by lightning: one in 576,000.
• Getting away with murder: one in 2.
• Winning an Olympic gold medal: one in 662,000.
• Getting hemorrhoids: one in 25.
• Dying from a shark attack: one in 300,000,000 (that’s 300 million).
• Dying from a falling coconut: one in 250,000,000.
That's right – you're more likely to die from a falling coconut than a shark attack.
• Dying from a dog attack: one in 700,000.
• Dying from falling down: one in 246.
• Winning the Mega Millions lottery: one in 135,145,920.
• Having your identity stolen: one in 200.
• Hitting a hole-in-one in golf (if you’re an amateur): one in 5,000.
• Hitting a hole-in-one in golf (if you’re a professional): one in 2,500.
• Being a victim of a serious crime in your lifetime: one in 20.
• Being injured while mowing your lawn: one in 3,623.
• Dying in an airplane accident: one in 354,319.
• Dying from heart disease: one in 3.
• Becoming president of the United States: one in 10,000,000.
• Dying from parts falling off an airplane: one in 10,000,000.
• Getting divorced: one in 3.
• Living to be 100 years old: one in 50.
• Dying from a bicycling accident: one in 140,845.
• Dying from a football injury: one in 1,850,000.
• Dying from jogging: one in 1,000,000.
• Dying from skiing: one in 1,400,000.
• Dying from a hunting accident:
one in 68,000.
• Getting injured while shaving: one in 6,585.
• Dying from an alligator attack: one in 12,000,000.
• Getting colon cancer: one in 20.
• Being audited by the IRS: one in 175.
• Becoming a professional athlete: one in 22,000.
• Bowling a 300 game: one in 11,500.
• Getting the flu this year: one in 10.
Of course, I’m no statistician (although I did pretend to be one at a wedding recently). But I do think that if you have hemorrhoids, and are swimming with sharks, while on a lawn mower, after cutting yourself shaving, and barely survived a falling coconut, after being notified you’re being audited by the IRS, your chances of getting a divorce may increase.
• Len Robbins is the editor of The Clinch County News. He can be reached at lrobbins@clinchcounty news
