Dear Frito-Lay Geniuses:
First of all, I’m a big fan and consumer of your products. In particular, I prefer your Fritos, Doritos, Cheetos, Tostitos, SunChips, Miss Vickie’s, Funyuns, Munchos, Rold Gold, and Ruffles brands.
In a nutshell, I am one of the people, if not the sole person, responsible for your profits over the last 4+ decades.
With that in mind, I have a request: Will you offer your wonderful, delicious products in a resealable bag?
Perhaps you already offer your products in a resealable bag. If so, they haven’t made their way to Homerville, Georgia, yet. I tried to determine if you offered resealable bags of your brands on this newfangled thing we just got here in Homerville called the Internets, but haven’t been able to find a table of contents on it.
Many other food manufacturers, including the cheese, chicken, and lettuce industries, offer their products in resealable bags.
Having your products packaged in resealable bags has many advantages for the consumer.
Among them are:
• It will keep the snack chips fresh.
Often, I will open a normalsized bag of Doritos, for instance, and eat half the contents of the bag. This makes me happy. I will then attempt to roll up the top of the bag tightly to secure freshness. When I return later (usually roughly 20 minutes) to finish off the bag, I will find that the top of the bag has become loosened, allowing air to seep in, and the chips aren’t as fresh as they were when I opened the bag. Basically, the rest of the chips are ruined. I will eat them anyway, but the experience is less than ideal.
With a resealable top, I could reseal the bag, and when I return to devour the rest of its delicious contents, the experience would come closer to replicating the glory of gobbling up the freshlyopened bag.
• A resealable bag would deter overeating.
As stated, one of my greatest fears is that when I return to finish a bag of your chips, the freshness will have waned. This often (actually, almost always) means that I will devour an entire bag of large chips, usually Doritos, in one sitting.
The results of this process are, while delicious, not exactly positive. First, when I digest a whole bag of Doritos (11.5 ounce bag), that’s 1800 calories. Sure, it’s a delectable 1800 calories, but my doctor said I need to refrain from having my entire recommended daily caloric intake come from one meal. I know – it sounds silly to me as well.
• A resealable bag will lessen instances of nacho cheese mustache.
More compelling is that when I feed on an entire Doritos bag in one sitting, the red nacho cheese mustache it produces takes a least two days to scrub off. I have found this nacho cheese mustache to not be advantageous in business circles, or in wedding photographs.
With a resealable Doritos bag, I figure it will only take one day to wipe off my nacho cheese mustache, and cut the potential for embarrassing social situations almost in half.
Obviously, you guys at Frito-Lay are brilliant. You’re the people who came up with Late Night All-Nighter Cheeseburger Doritos – Bravo! All I’m asking – no, all I’m begging – is for you to put your products in resealable bags. Football season has already started.The holiday season is not that far away. Some resealable bag chips would make a great Christmas present.
Your biggest fan, Len Robbins
• Len Robbins is the editor of The Clinch County News. He can be reached at lrobbins@clinchcounty news
