I just now finished eating breakfast.
I’ve never really liked breakfast. I suppose that came from my childhood when I had to get up early, eat and then bounce along the dirt roads of Appling County for an hour on my way to Fourth District School. That, along with a longtime battle with anxiety, didn’t lend itself to a settled stomach.
Reminds me of a story one of my preacher brothers once told. He was also a barber and, as typical in a small town, he cut the hair of two or three generations of men in his community.
One day, a five year old came in. School had just started back and the lively youngster told his barber all about the beginning of the new school year. He said he had mastered reading, writing and spelling and he already had several “chicks” pursuing him. He declared the only thing he didn’t like about going to school was the long bus ride to get there.
His barber counselor asked him why the bus ride was so terrible.
Without missing a beat, the young sage looked up and said “That ride every day just makes me constipated.”
I can relate.
So, I tried to eat healthy this morning. I really did.
I ate a peanut butter granola bar.
It was o.k. It was nothing to write about and, yet, here I am writing about it.
I have been “gently” instructed by my doctor to eat better and lose weight.
As I mentioned, I am not a breakfast eater in general. That makes me unique in my family. Both sets of grandparents and Daddy believed breakfast was the most important meal of the day and was to include all the staples: grits, eggs, bacon, biscuits and the associated trimmings.
Not me.
I’ve always been in favor of pound cake, cinnamon rolls, Reese’s Fast Break bars and my personal favorite — chocolate chip cookies.
My doctor informed me that is not appropriate breakfast fare and is certainly not healthy for me.
Hence, the peanut butter granola bar.
It was healthy enough. It didn’t have any cholesterol and it was low in fats and sugar. I don’t want a lot of cholesterol, but I have a love affair with sugar. You can look at me and tell.
The ingredients included sugar, but just a mightily, little bit. The main ingredients included such things as whole grain oats, canola oil and rice flour.
I can’t prove it, but I think there was some grass, a few twigs, a rock and maybe even a few beggarweed seeds and a cocklebur or two in said granola bar.
Even though it says it is a peanut butter granola bar, peanut butter was actually the third ingredient on the list. I think they actually just put peanut butter on a piece of waxed paper and touched it. It just left a little peanut butter perfume on it.
I ate the granola bar, and I am writing about it. I confess, I broke in to a stash of chocolate chip cookies I keep in my desk drawer in case of emergencies. It was 10:30 a.m. and I was still hungry and needed something to hold me over until lunch.
I tried to eat right for breakfast, I really did. Could we call it a balanced diet if I hold a granola bar in one hand and a chocolate chip cookie in the other.
I guess I should look on the bright side. At least the granola bar didn’t make me constipated.
